<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="0.92">
<channel>
	<title>Captain Assclown -Celebrity &#38; Politician Rumors, Scandals, And Screw-Ups</title>
	<link>http://www.captainassclown.com</link>
	<description>Rants &#38; Raves</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 05 Sep 2011 20:29:41 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<docs>http://backend.userland.com/rss092</docs>
	<language>en</language>
	<!-- generator="WordPress/3.1.2" -->

	<item>
		<title>How To REALLY Read the 2011 MDA Telethon Numbers</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The MDA Telethon supposedly (according to the MDA&#8217;s own statement which has not been validated) brought in $61.5M this year, about $2.5M more than last year. There seems to be an implication being made that the MDA Telethon is more profitable without Jerry Lewis&#8217; involvement, however I believe nothing could be further from the truth. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/53-how-to-really-read-the-2011-mda-telethon-numbers.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Prediction: This 2011 MDA Telethon Is Going To Suck</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s why: 1) No Jerry Lewis 2) Telethon was cut from 21 hours to 6 hours, theoretically to: A) Increase the number of stations that will carry it B) To attract higher star quality to perform because they&#8217;ll be on prime time Here&#8217;s what I&#8217;m seeing: -Last year (2010) the MDA Telethon was carried by [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/48-prediction-this-2011-mda-telethon-is-going-to-suck.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Wall Street Journal calls the president, &#8220;Mr. Obama&#8221;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Rupert Murdoch owns the Wall Street Journal. And because of that, apparently the Wall Street Journal doesn&#8217;t call the president, &#8220;President Obama&#8221; anymore, but just plain-old &#8220;Mr. Obama&#8221;. Here&#8217;s the Wall Street Journal article, and it&#8217;s not a blog or an opinion piece.  From what I can see, it&#8217;s Wall Street Journal policy now. The [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/36-wall-street-journal-calls-the-president-mr-obama.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Paul McCartney&#8217;s Fiance To Have Her Leg Removed</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Paul McCartney is engaged to his 4-year girlfriend Nancy Shevell.   (Edit: She&#8217;s not a 4-year toddler, I mean she&#8217;s been his girlfriend for 4 years.) Rumor has it that his only requirement for marriage is for her to have one of her legs removed. To show his love for her and demonstrate that he&#8217;s not [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/34-paul-mccartneys-fiance-to-have-her-leg-removed.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Donald Trump Continues To Damage The &#8220;Trump&#8221; Brand</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Well folks, the only thing I can figure is that Donald Trump has found a way to &#8220;short&#8221; himself, possibly by making an enormous bet with a wealthy friend about how much he can damage his brand, thereby damaging the value of his current properties and his future earnings potential. Assuming that&#8217;s true, Donald is [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/17-donald-trump-continues-to-damage-the-trump-brand.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Photo of Brett Michaels And Tish Cyrus Having Sex Doggy-Style (Caption It)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Photo of Bret Michaels having sex with Miley's Mom during their affair that ruined her marriage. A Captain Assclown exclusive!]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/10-photo-of-brett-michaels-and-tish-cyrus-doing-it-doggy-style-caption-it.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Miley Cyrus&#8217; Mom Had An Affair With Brett Michaels</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Billy Ray Cyrus&#8217; wife Tish had an affair with Brett Michaels, it is being reported.  Billy Ray was blindsided by the whole thing. Awesome! That means hopefully he&#8217;ll record &#8220;Achy Breaky Heart 2&#8243;, here&#8217;s some lyrics to help get him started (sing along): &#8220;Don&#8217;t suck his schlong, his Poison Poison schlong&#8230;&#8221;]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/7-miley-cyrus-mom-had-an-affair-with-brett-michaels.html</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Wah</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Wah, were&#8217;d all the naked pictures of Sarah Palin go?  I have a tummy ache.  The revolution will not be teleported.]]></description>
		<link>http://www.captainassclown.com/1-hello-world.html</link>
			</item>
</channel>
</rss>

