How To REALLY Read the 2011 MDA Telethon Numbers

The MDA Telethon supposedly (according to the MDA’s own statement which has not been validated) brought in $61.5M this year, about $2.5M more than last year. There seems to be an implication being made that the MDA Telethon is more profitable without Jerry Lewis’ involvement, however I believe nothing could be further from the truth. […]

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Prediction: This 2011 MDA Telethon Is Going To Suck

Here’s why: 1) No Jerry Lewis 2) Telethon was cut from 21 hours to 6 hours, theoretically to: A) Increase the number of stations that will carry it B) To attract higher star quality to perform because they’ll be on prime time Here’s what I’m seeing: -Last year (2010) the MDA Telethon was carried by […]

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Wall Street Journal calls the president, “Mr. Obama”

Rupert Murdoch owns the Wall Street Journal. And because of that, apparently the Wall Street Journal doesn’t call the president, “President Obama” anymore, but just plain-old “Mr. Obama”. Here’s the Wall Street Journal article, and it’s not a blog or an opinion piece.  From what I can see, it’s Wall Street Journal policy now. The […]

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Paul McCartney’s Fiance To Have Her Leg Removed

Paul McCartney is engaged to his 4-year girlfriend Nancy Shevell.   (Edit: She’s not a 4-year toddler, I mean she’s been his girlfriend for 4 years.) Rumor has it that his only requirement for marriage is for her to have one of her legs removed. To show his love for her and demonstrate that he’s not […]

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Donald Trump Continues To Damage The “Trump” Brand

Well folks, the only thing I can figure is that Donald Trump has found a way to “short” himself, possibly by making an enormous bet with a wealthy friend about how much he can damage his brand, thereby damaging the value of his current properties and his future earnings potential. Assuming that’s true, Donald is […]

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Photo of Brett Michaels And Tish Cyrus Having Sex Doggy-Style (Caption It)

Photo of Bret Michaels having sex with Miley’s Mom during their affair that ruined her marriage. A Captain Assclown exclusive!

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Miley Cyrus’ Mom Had An Affair With Brett Michaels

Billy Ray Cyrus’ wife Tish had an affair with Brett Michaels, it is being reported.  Billy Ray was blindsided by the whole thing. Awesome! That means hopefully he’ll record “Achy Breaky Heart 2″, here’s some lyrics to help get him started (sing along): “Don’t suck his schlong, his Poison Poison schlong…”

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Wah

Wah, were’d all the naked pictures of Sarah Palin go?  I have a tummy ache.  The revolution will not be teleported.

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